So... here goes!

This whole blogging thing is new to me. In fact, I'm not really sure what it's all about, but I'm a writer and process things best with my fingers on a computer keyboard. I thought I would try putting my thoughts on "cyber paper" and see how it goes.

First, you need to know there's a lot going on in my life right now. Thankfully, I'm a Christian and have the assurance that no matter what happens, God is in charge on His throne, not somewhere taking a tiny nap missing His opportunities to take care of me.

Dateline February 2007: Our eldest daughter, whose life has been horribly stressful for many years, called me and tearfully admitted to being an alcoholic. Twelve days later, on her firstborn son's 14th birthday, she entered a rehab facility a couple of hours from her home for a three-week inpatient treatment program. She was dropped off by her husband who coldly opened the car door, patted her shoulder and said, "Do good" and pushed her out of the car. He has barely spoken to her since that day some 18 months ago. As it turns out, he was already "involved" with her best friend (who also happens to be the ex-wife of our son). At any rate, his change in loyalty (to the best friend) later explained his ability to be so cold and cruel to the bride of his youth after 18 years of marriage and four children.

That situation has continued to get worse and the pain for my precious girl, her children, and most of both families, has been excrutiating - almost unbearable. As her mom, I received those middle-of-the-night phone calls from my baby girl when she was sobbing so hard she could barely breathe: "Mom, I can't do this! You have to come." More than one night I got up from my bed, dressed, tossed a few things in a bag, and made the 60-minute drive to spend the night listening to her, trying to comfort her, and finding it impossible to answer her agonizing questions ("WHY?" and "What on earth has happened to my husband??"). And now they are in the throes of an ugly divorce, which should become final in the next few weeks. It's been horrible!

Dateline April 2007: After suffering "stroke" symptoms, my brother, who lives almost 1,000 miles away, was diagnosed with a brain tumor just before his 60th birthday. He had surgery to remove most of the tumor on May 7 and was released from the hospital on my 65th birthday, May 9. A couple of weeks later, when the results of the lab tests were revealed, he was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme Grade IV. I had no idea what that was, so I Googled it. The news wasn't one bit good. It's the most aggressive form of brain cancer - almost always fatal. Again, not great news! Our entire family was stunned by all of this discouraging information. We (my mom, sis and I) try to visit him two or three times a year, and are headed there in mid October for a lengthy visit and to watch the World Series (and "The Closer" - his favorite show!) with him.

Dateline November 2007: Thanksgiving... To accommodate a couple of family members, we usually have our family dinner on Friday or Saturday after Thanksgiving Day. This past year was no exception. Our son, who had been working out of town (90 minutes from home) for several months, kept stalling about when he could arrive to eat our traditional meal - the same exact menu I grew up with, and have prepared for my family since I cooked my "maiden turkey" in 1971 (after 8 years of marriage), as we spent our first Thanksgiving away from my own mom's Thanksgiving table.

My son has always LOVED our family's holiday dinner, and usually fills his plate to the brim, more than once. He finally arrived just before 9 p.m. (after multiple phone calls "explaining" why he had been unable to arrive yet). He barely ate anything, which I intereted to mean that he had already eaten his Thanksgiving dinner "somewhere" - we had no idea where or with whom. But we began to have strong suspicions, as did his wife.

In the months that followed, our son was obviously absent from his wife and two children (who were living in a mobile home on our property where their little family had moved in the spring of 2004). He came home less and less frequently, and finally not at all. In the meantime, his out-of-town job location was changed to a city almost 6 hours away. As things continued to unfold, our suspicions grew stronger. Then one Sunday evening in early June, we received an anonymous phone call from someone who thought we needed to know what our son was involved in. He told us that our boy had established a second life for himself, complete with a live-in girlfriend - they told us her name.

The next morning, on our 45th wedding anniversary, we decided to get in the car and go to the town where our son was working and see for ourselves what was going on. We made the 5 1/2 hour drive, checked into a motel, drove around to familiarize ourselves with the town (including our son's jobsite) and parked at a strategic intersection to wait for our son to drive by. We noted the direction he turned at the intersection, and went back to our motel to wait for darkness.

We spent most of the night looking at every vehicle in every parking lot of every motel in that town - no small feat. We were out there sleuthing around until 1:30 in the morning. We were exhausted, and didn't discover his truck or that of his girlfriend. So, the next morning at 5:15 a.m. we were back at the same intersection, watching for him to drive by with the girlfriend (in her truck), so that we would know which vehicle to watch for later in the day. We were too late (apparently, he was already at work at 5:15!) and we missed seeing him that morning.

That afternoon, we again waited for him to drive by. We had hidden our car behind a bushy tree, and when he passed by us we dashed out into traffic, following him at a safe distance for several miles out into the country. I made note of the license number of the truck,but when I later checked it with his wife, we had followed someone other than our son! In the meantime, we learned the name of the motel where he and the girlfriend had been staying. Late that evening we were back in the cover of darkness, looking at all the vehicles parked at that particular motel - one of the better, more expensive lodging offerings in the area, I might add. Once again we came up empty - neither truck in sight. Later we learned that the prior afternoon they had checked out of the motel (which explains why he was willing to reveal the name) and moved into a real house somewhere in the town. It is so upsetting to have no idea where our son is living or how to contact him - can't even send him a birthday card in October. We were never able to find him or locate any of the vehicles he drives (including the girlfriend's new red Honda Ridgeline). We were very frustrated, not to mention using 3 tanks of $4/gal. gasoline, plus the cost for two nights in a motel! Not our first concern, of course, but it is REALITY!

So that brings us to now. Our beloved daughter-in-law and two of our precious grandbabies have had to leave the relative safety of our country property and have moved to a larger city an hour to to the south where her dad lives. The schools there are awful (both kids will be in school this fall) and the apartment where they have to live (by financial necessity) is a drug-infested rat hole where there already have been two drive-by shootings in the five weeks they've been there. But in the city she can finish cosmetology school and get a job to support her babies. Our son sends her money pretty regularly, but there are strings and the money may not always be there for her. Our son refuses to tell anyone in the family where he's living and has said he wants nothing more to do with Dad and me. We are even forbidden to call him on his cell phone. We don't know what we've done, but our hearts are broken. He's our boy! Who knows how all of this will end. Praise God - He is the Healer of broken hearts!

Dateline first weekend in August 2008: My sis, my eldest daughter and I attended a weekend Christian Women's simulcast conference where the featured speaker was Beth Moore. I had never heard her speak, but I have to say she is an awesome Godly woman with an ordained gift for delivering her message in plain talk that speaks so loudly and so clearly. What an awesome blessing that was to the three of us (and all of the 70,000 women attending the simulcast in churches all over the country). I learned so much - practical ways to keep my study of the BIble going with regularity and making it relevant to my daily life. Fantastic! We are already making plans to be on the front row when she comes in person to our area in April 2009 - God willing!

Tomorrow - worship with the local church family whom we have been worshipping with for the past year or so. I know there will be blessings and healing for us there as we fellowship with the Body of Christ.

Don't worry - much more to come. Sorry this is soooooooooooo long. I'll try to be more brief next time. Needed to give a lot of background stuff this first time. Thanks for sticking with me!

XOXO